The Selfish Girl
by Kida Luna
Summary: And so I made up my mind. That's how I promised myself that I would not let anyone approach to her, just me, to talk or even touch her. And she, told to myself, will definitely learn to be only with me. When Arisa meets Suzuka.


_Summary: _And so I made up my mind. That's how I promised myself that I would not let anyone approach to her, just me, to talk or even touch her. And she, told to myself, will definitely learn to be only with me. When Arisa meets Suzuka.

_The Selfish Girl_

_By: Kida Luna_

_One – Shot_

Quiet.

That is how the girl with blue eyes and hair like blackberries was. The first day of school, among all the others students there, I just focused my eyes on her from the distant seat where I was. She had a nice smile and a submissive but a well-mannered appearance.

Because of her way to be, so elegant and delicate, I supposed that her family has to be one of those pretty important like mine; but otherwise for me, she was very compliant.

Because of her beautiful smile and friendly features I wanted to know her so much that the first day of school. I made it my purpose.

However, I wasn't the only one.

Everyone else wanted to know her, everyone wanted to be her friends, and everyone wanted to be with her. Back then, during my first year of elementary school, I felt an undesirable feeling grow inside of me. I couldn't stand watching the others around her. I didn't _want them_ around her.

It made me angry.

It made my knuckles go blank and my milk teeth got tighten ones against the others, just like if someone where stealing the toy that it was given to me.

_My toy._

I wouldn't allow it. Nobody was going to take away what was mine.

And so I made up my mind. That's how I promised myself that I would not let anyone than just me approach to her, just me, talk or even touch her. And she, told to myself, will definitely learn to be only with me.

Thus from the very first day of school, from the very first playtime, I mocked at, made dirty tricks and threats to anyone who dared to take a step towards her. I wasn't afraid of anybody, and every kid there was afraid of me; I felt strong and powerful at that moment, because finally the world could understand that she _was mine._

When my desires dawned on everyone else perfectly, it was the moment for the girl with the blue eyes to know what I wanted. First off, I walked up to the playground bench where she was, then in order to get her attention I threw away her food onto the floor.

It was wonderful, I still remember.

Her eyes stared at me, finally only me and I couldn't help but feel so blissful for that. I laughed full of happiness when she crouched down to gather her things, and without second thoughts, I kicked out her lunch box. She was still on the ground, her eyes on the verge of tears.

Back at that time I always only thought about myself. It made me happy the fact that I was the only person able to go and come back from her side, whether she wanted it or not. It doesn't matter how much she cried 'cause nor even a boy or girl would go to her rescue since they know beforehand I would have hit them; I have done it before and I'll do it again if they just steal me a bit of the quiet girl's attention.

The first days of school passed by like that. Soon, nobody talked to her and much less they noticed her because their fear for me. I was happy. Now my classmate could be only with me, could only talk to me and there wasn't anyone who could do something to change that.

I tossed her food and she just cried in silence.

I stole her eraser and she stayed quiet.

I took away her diadem and she just said, "It's mine", but she never asked back for it.

It was so funny thus I could do whatever I wanted and the girl would ever yell at me or made any attempt to stop me. She never dared to accuse me either, which only made me wanting to do as I pleased even more.

Never in my life have I been so entertained with something it wasn't a plastic toy or a ping pong ball. I was like that, I was selfish and bossy with my classmates –with her-; despite of me not knowing at that age what those two adjectives stood for.

For the others it was wrong.

For me it was right. Nobody ever told me otherwise, nobody _made_ _me _see it otherwise, so I must have been doing the right thing all that time because it made me happy.

What makes you happy can never be bad.

I mean, she could cry, she could huddle herself in a corner of the playground or she could just hide her gaze whenever she saw me coming; but I was always careless about that because it never felt like hurting. And if I wasn't hurt, like when fire burns your hand, it was obvious everything was how it was supposed to be.

And so it must remain that way.

I had to claim my right –her attention- upon her. Me and just me, nobody else.

Me in her eyes. Nobody else.

Me at her side. Nobody else.

Me with her. Nobody else.

Me… Me and not that other girl who was the first that dared to say that I could not be the only one.

It happened all of a sudden, a couple of days after. I will never forget that day.

She came out from nowhere into our class, and when I expected it the less that girl whose eyes were blue too and whose hair was red like fire, gave me the first punch had someone of my age given to me.

My chin hurt and the sound of the slap made a click on my mind.

Why was she hitting me?

Why did she come into the middle?

Why did she dare to confront me?

Why is that she wanted to take away from me the quiet girl with beautiful blue eyes?

As questions flooded my mind, my anger did it as well. I felt and incredible wrath grow inside my chest and inside my eyes, and so the same yearning for teaching the girl that her place was afar off her –like all the other kids- came to me just like if today was the first day of school.

"_Does that hurt? The hearts of people who have their precious things taken away hurt a whole lot more!"_

Those blue eyes looked at me with anger and a huge desire to cry.

Does that hurt? No.

It couldn't be possible, I said to myself.

The quiet girl shouldn't be hurt because I was happy, and if I was happy then she had to be happy too, she had to if I say, if I order that!

I released my grip onto the white diadem and screamed while I lunged forward towards the red-haired girl; because I didn't want to listen to her words, because I wanted to shut up her, I wanted her to see that she was wrong and what she just had said to me it was all a lie.

I wanted the girl with fire locks to recognize that the one who was on the right side was me.

But opposite to everyone else, opposite to the quiet girl, this girl didn't acknowledge it.

I felt angrier and worse and with more desire for crying out loudly because it could not be true. I could not be wrong, I was happy, what I was doing it was the right thing because I wanted to be her friend.

Me and just me.

Me and not the others.

Me and not Nanoha.

Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!

"_I hate you, Nanoha! I HATE YOU!"_

I yelled at her the first day I met her, and I yelled because I didn't wish to hear whatever she was trying to say to me while her blue eyes cried tears. Since if I listen to her I might be afraid of her, and if I was afraid of her then I was accepting my defeat.

I didn't want to lose.

I didn't want to lose Suzuka.

Not the quiet girl that it took me so much time and effort to get the others away from…

"_STOP IT!"_

She finally spoke. I opened my eyes full of tears and I stared at her with shock. What had she just said?

Why…?

Why don't you want to be with me…?

"_Stop it, please…"_

Afterwards, I saw her fall to her knees and covered her face to cry, Unconsciously, I let go of my hold on Nanoha, who went to her side quickly and crouched down to hug her. I stayed there, still.

For the first time, I heard Suzuka cry, just as Nanoha and I were doing it.

For the first time, I realized that crying because of someone else's fault, no matter the intentions behind the acts, it was something too bad and painful.

I lowered my gaze to my hands. Then I saw the white diadem on the ground beside my feet. Suzuka wasn't crying for her diadem. Suzuka was crying for me and for Nanoha.

Suzuka was worried about us.

Nanoha was worried about Suzuka.

And I… And I?

I wanted to cry even more.

I had been only worrying about myself all this whole time…

* * *

"Arisa-chan?"

The blonde blinked at the moment she heard her name, so she immediately turned her gaze away from the window and the rain that was growing outside her estate. Soon, her green eyes found in front themselves a steaming mug of coffee.

"Here." Said the lovely voice. "It will make you feel warmer."

The hands of Arisa Bannings held the cup while she closed her eyes to feel the warm and the love impregnated in something so small and delicate. Just as the young –not a girl anymore- quiet lady that was taking a seat at her side.

Soft hands tucked away the tawny locks from her forehead. Then, a gentle smile was dedicated to her.

"You have been absent-minded this afternoon, are you all right?"

"Uhm." Arisa nodded and took a sip from her beverage. "I was… remembering."

"About what?"

The blond offered a sideways smile, half in fun, and half in melancholy.

"The first day when you and I met. The goal about being your friend I imposed on myself back then, and the way so cruel in which I forced you into it."

The green eyes, full of sadness, stared at the waves that were created on the black coffee she was drinking from. A sigh of regret was about to escape from her lips, but she didn't allow it to.

Instead, she just left her mouth trace a complete bitter smile.

"If it wasn't for Nanoha… I would have caused you a terrible harm. I took advantage then because I knew you would never stand up to me. I was selfish at being happy."

"Arisa…"

"And I was so afraid of losing my happiness that I hated Nanoha for being the first person that showed me what the reality was. I wasn't your friend; I was your nightmare."

"But now you're my friend. The best I could ever have."

Suzuka's hands took away the mug of coffee and placed it on the little table in front of them. Then she held her friend into her arms. Arisa hid herself on her breast and the young lady with the blue eyes couldn't help but kiss her forehead and stroke the short blond locks, as she always did to comfort her.

Suzuka knew that Arisa Bannings had been a bad girl with her from the beginning, and so she always wondered at those old days why that cute little blonde always treat her so badly. Why she always made her cry.

Why she always made sure that everyone got away from her.

As quiet as she was, Suzuka ever said something that could possibly awaken Arisa's anger. And because she didn't wish for anyone to be hurt –not even the bad girl with green eyes-, she worked up the courage to scream for the first time what she thought when Nanoha Takamachi engaged herself in a fight on the school playground.

A day she would never forget. The day when a scream and a fight changed her life forever.

The one when Arisa learnt what the word wrong meant and was, for being selfish.

The one when Suzuka learnt what the word wrong meant and was, for keeping silence.

The day that became into the first day that Suzuka Tsukimura saw the bad girl crying; and so she wished for being her friend, even though the horrible things she made her feel.

"Don't be sad, Arisa-chan. I love you the way you are, proud, scrappy and selfish. A strong person who since became my real friend, knows the importance to listen to the others. The only one who knows how to make me smile."

The blonde got a few inches away then and wiped her eyes with one hand while sobbing. Her emerald pupils fixed with the sapphire ones, and she could feel the huge love and warmth they were conveying sincerely to her.

"Love you." Arisa whined.

"I love you too, ." Suzuka pulled her into another embrace. "My little selfish girl."

* * *

"_Suzuka? I really… really sorry…"_

"_I… uhm, I'm sorry too, Arisa-chan. I should have been braver…"_

"_S-Suzuka?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Can we… can we still be friends?"_

* * *

_The End._

Nyaha! I finally got my lil' story about Arisa and Suzuka. I was wondering what was a tiny blonde girl of 6 or 7 years old thinking while bullying a smaller girl, just to catch her attention.

I believe that even when Arisa hurt Suzuka at the beginning, like we all know, the fact that she was still a child, with the typical selfishness children feel, it didn't allow her to see that she was doing wrong to such a kind and gentle person.

Children made mistakes and young and adult people too. Sometimes, it's because selfishness. Sometimes, like Arisa, we just want to be happy…

But as an image I saw a long time ago would say: "My happiness is riding on your misery".

Guess Arisa couldn't stand the truth, ne? =)

My regards and my thanks for taking a bit of your time to read my story, I hope the message I wanted to transmit have reached you even though my english is not very good. And for that I must thank to my two little friends who gently proofreaded this for me ^^

Thank you very much, Izumi & Krizi =)

Kida Luna.


End file.
